I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
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Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
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The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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