i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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