I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
