She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
