Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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