the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Couch. On fire.
Randomize