doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize