Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Randomize
