no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
