Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
