You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
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