Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
