the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
