pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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