Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
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