White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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