we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
True strength comes from lack of pants
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
