these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
