Umm I'm too high to move.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
