the day after is always just damage control
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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