left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize