you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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