Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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