He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
