This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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