My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
