thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize