if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
