Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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