I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I intend to get homeless drunk
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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