i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
