I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Hippo gnu deer
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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