Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
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