So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Randomize
