Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Randomize
