got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
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