Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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