hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
No subtext here. People are naked.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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