I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
That accounts for only three of the penises
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
