he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
how drunk are you?
Several
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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