But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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