I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
