Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
