I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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