Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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