Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize