Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
