did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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