dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
