Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Apparently you make a good broom.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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