marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
how do flat chested girls get laid?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
