You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
