I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
