watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize