Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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