I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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