The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
